Will your kids drink or smoke marijuana? Quite possibly. But don’t panic.

In a world where binge drinking, recreational and prescription drug abuse, chronic overeating and anorexia, and internet gambling and pornography are all too common among teens, it’s time to rethink conventional wisdom about addiction. We clearly need something more than “just say no.” This book is the alternative.

Parents are being misled—and disempowered. So says Dr. Stanton Peele, author of the groundbreaking Love and Addiction, in this controversial but research-driven book. Brainwashed by the constant refrains that addiction is a disease, that abstinence is the only solution, and that any drug or alcohol use requires treatment, society and parents aren’t being presented with the successful tactics they can use to make their children addiction-proof—and to keep them safe if they do use drugs or drink, as so many will.

Dr. Peele explains that, despite what parents have been told, it’s normal for most kids to try alcohol and drugs, and that the large majority will not become addicts or ruin their lives—if they are armed with real-life motivators to keep them addiction free: independence, critical thinking, responsibility, and the ability to enjoy life. In simple, clear terms, Addiction-Proof Your Child shows parents how to instill these qualities: by teaching children to take pride in achievement and other bedrock values, learning how to be calm questioners and tolerant listeners, fighting the urge to overparent, and (if the parents drink) teaching kids how to drink in moderation at home.